Tuesday, May 18, 2010

What my mum taught me

I found this on 'Sprinke on the fun' Blog today - really tickled my funnybone! And i hear myself saying most of these things most days!! One day in 20 years my girls will be telling their own kids the same things!!!

What my MUM taught me:
1. My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me religion.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about time travel.
"If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me logic.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me more logic.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
& nbsp; You are not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me foresight.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me irony,
"Keep crying and I will give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of osmosis.
"Shut your mouth and eat your dinner."

9. My mother taught me how to be a contortionist.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about stamina.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about hypocrisy.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me about anticipation.
"Just wait until we get home."

13. My mother taught me humor.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

14. My mother taught me about my roots.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

15. And my favorite:

My mother taught me about justice.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."


~D~ said...

Thank you for that much needed laugh tonight! :)

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Anonymous said...

This is half entertaining. But then again I'm extremely high right now

Tim said...

This is hilarious! Reminds me of the types of things my mother used to say. :)

Especially the first one - "If you're going to fight with your brother, go outside... I don't want you getting the carpet dirty."

from SuperTeacherWorksheets.com

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